Things I have learned while serving toast to rich people in Ireland over the summer.

  • The Irish do really love potatoes.
  • When an Irish person says ‘How’re you doing?’, they actually mean hello (like Joey off of Friends). They will often look confused if you reply ‘Not too bad thanks, how are you?’
  • Americans are the friendliest tourists, and the nicest to talk to. I will not say who the least friendly are.
  • People like marmalade at least twice as much as they like any other type of jam.
  • Some people think 40 seconds is too long for toast and will tut and grumble at you.
  • The hotel industry is, by its very nature, two-faced. While I don’t at all disagree with doing everything you can to make the customer happy, it can leave you feeling like you aren’t worth as much.
  • Everyone has a different idea of how ‘five star’ staff should behave.
  • You CANNOT please everyone. Small example: some people want very well done toast while others can’t have it unless it’s very lightly done. In this case you can do your best to change the settings between guests but conflicting preferences can’t always be resolved.
  • While most people are lovely and polite, the occasional arse ruins it for everyone.
  • If you are being waited on in a busy restaurant, try and be extra nice and understanding to your server. Smile. It might cheer their day a little.
  • When pushing through the heavy swingy doors in a restaurant, always push with your arms. Do not accidentally walk into them head-first like I did once.
  • I’m more dependent on the internet than I would like to admit.
  • Man cannot live on bolognese alone.
  • By getting through this summer, I have proved to myself that I am stronger than I gave myself credit for.